It's not me!

Genesis 30:2 "And Jacob's anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God's stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?"

Today, we read a conversation between a husband (Jacob) and a wife (Rachel). Rachel was having a difficult time with the fact that Leah was able to have children with Jacob and she was not. While I could spend ample amounts of time writing about the problems that polygamy brings, I want to focus for the moment on the relationship between Jacob and Rachel and how it mirrors the difficulties that many marriages go through today.

Rachel is upset that she is unable to bare any children and lashes out at Jacob in verse 1 and tells him, "Give me children, or else I die." While her statement seems a little dramatic, when you are in the midst of a difficult situation, it often seems as if your world may come to an end. What we read in our verse today was Jacob's response to his wife's personal struggle.

In essence, I believe Jacob lashes out at Rachel after she lashes out at him and tells her, "Hey, I am not the one having any problems, I have already fathered children. The problem is obviously with you!" Many times, when husbands and wives come to a difficult stretch in their marriage, it is always the other one's fault. Our initial response is usually, "It's not me!"

But there is an interesting portion of Scripture in the previous chapter that sheds a little more light on Rachel's condition. Genesis 29:30-31 "And he (Jacob) went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served him yet seven other years. And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren." The implication here is that the Lord allowed Leah to conceive, and not Rachel, because of the attitude of Jacob ("he loved also Rachel more than Leah...Leah was hated").

What does all of this mean for us today? Well, the next time there is a difficult situation or a disagreement in your marriage, don't be so quick to say, "It's not me." Instead of pointing to others, look in the mirror and begin to make the changes needed. Everyone must take personal responsibility for their relationship and make the necessary changes for it to succeed.